A New Chapter

It has been too long since I’ve posted!

The last few months have been quite challenging and it has become a new chapter in my life. I not only had a major surgery but I was also diagnosed with yet another mental illness. But you wouldn’t know it by looking at me. I try to hide it as best I can. But that does not mean I’m not in pain mentally, emotionally, and physically. I experience everything from fear and high anxiety to traumatic flashbacks and chronic pain on a daily basis. Not to mention that some days I am very, very irritable. But there are still appointments I need to get to and errands that can’t be avoided.

Treatment is so important for mental illness or any kind of mental health challenge and I strongly urge anyone who thinks they may need it to try it. I have a strict therapy regimen and it really helps me not only understand my conditions but mange them, too. My therapist and psychiatrist are a very important part of my support system and have been for years.

I am looking to expand my support system a little so I have people who I can be “real” with. There are times when you just need to talk about the good, bad, and ugly. I am so grateful for the few people I have in my life right now that I can be that real with. Their friendship means so much to me!

Feelings of isolation have been strong these last few months which is why I really try to push myself to get out when I can. Some days it is really hard when I just want to stay in and talk to no one or when the physical pain is really bad.

My interest in art has taken a hit and I haven’t painted in months. I recently started writing poetry though and began a poetry journal. Writing is so cathartic. I have been focusing on poems about isolation and friendships to begin with and may move on to some about chronic pain next. I may share one once in awhile in the Poetry section I have created on this blog.

As always, I am striving to live that stigma free life. I’m not ashamed of going to therapy or saying that yes, I have mental illnesses. It can make it hard to forge new friendships though and disclosing it to others can always be a little tricky. Again, I urge you to seek help if you think you may need it. You can even begin by finding a close friend to talk about what you’ve been going through. Please don’t suffer in complete silence.

I have been staying close to my prayer journal and Bible lately which really helps me. I like thinking of Isaiah 41:10 that says “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”


Build a Personal Mission Statement for the New Year

A couple years ago I was scouring the internet for articles about how to find your purpose or mission in life. I know it’s such a loaded topic but I was really struggling to feel useful and purposeful, especially without having work that I go to each day. So many people associate their work with themselves but what are you supposed to do when you don’t have that? What if you’re just depressed much of the time? I was wondering if I still had anything to give to the world.

Maybe you have felt this way, especially around this time of year when everyone is posting all their joy filled moments from the past year and all that they look forward to in 2019. It can be nauseating if you are not feeling that same joy but instead feel like a big failure….at everything.

I came across the Franklin Covey Mission Statement Builder located here. You may know the name Franklin Covey from their line of planners, but they also help organizations with leadership and training and methodology. One of their foundational beliefs is that “people are inherently capable, aspire to greatness, and have the power to choose”.

I chose to create the Personal Mission Statement but there are also options for a Family Mission Statement and a Team Mission Statement. You can also do an exercise that will help you discover your values and principles. On the Log In page (after you click on Personal or Build Yours Now) simply add your name and email address, and for title you can just select ‘Other’. Then it takes you through a series of ten topics or questions that you just plug your answers into. Some examples are Performance, Passion, Talents, Imagination, Vision, etc. The questions are very simple and you just add whatever comes to mind first. They will also give you some prompts or ideas. If you’re stuck on one you can just leave it blank for now. Some might require more thought than others. At the end it will put your answers into a full mission statement.

You have now created a personal mission statement that reflects YOU and what kind of life YOU want to live. It goes something like this:

  • I am at my best when….
  • I will try to prevent times when…..
  • I will enjoy my work by…..
  • I will find opportunities to….
  • I can do anything I set my mind to….
  • My life’s journey is one of…..
  • I will be a person who touched the lives of others by…..
  • My most important future contribution to others will be….
  • I will stop procrastinating and start working on….
  • I will strive to incorporate the following attributes into my life…
  • I will constantly renew myself by focusing on the four dimensions of my life….

Remember, the tool helps you come up with most of these answers! Don’t feel like you are just coming up with all of these out of thin air. That would be a lot of pressure.

You can keep refining your statement over time since your goals and dreams may change. But as the last screen points out, change means growth. You can even condense your statement into just a few main sentences or a short paragraph if that works better for you. Copy and paste the full statement into your own document but also be sure to click “email mission statement” on the final step of “Live Your Mission” to have a backup. You may want to change the grammar around a little bit, depending on how you answered but that is very easy. You might also have to delete any extra punctuation.

I first created mine a couple years ago but I revisit it every six months or so to see if I want to change anything. And now I look back at it as a guide or road map of sorts. When I feel like I’m not going anywhere or have anything to do or be, I look back at this and am reminded that I do matter, I do have goals, and I do have something to live for, even if these things would seem too small or insignificant for someone else. This is about me, after all. These are things that I did not realize on my own until I went through this mission statement builder. Sometimes you just need a little help or a little push or a new way of looking at things. And since I have grown even more in my faith, I realize I always have Jesus to live for. I know I belong to Him and with that comes an ultimate purpose and direction – to live in freedom and service for Christ. How can I let my light shine? How can I be the salt and the light? How can I evangelize to others? No matter how down I ever feel, I know I will always have a mission as a follower of Christ! Now all of that is part of my personal mission statement.

Everyone’s mission statement will be different. And you do not have to share it with anyone if you don’t want to. You don’t need to compare yourself to anyone. (Although, if you’re in therapy, sharing this with your therapist would be great so he or she can help you “live your best life.”)

Build your statement and feel proud of yourself! Thinking about all this can be a little mentally exhausting so take frequent breaks if you need to. If you are feeling down about New Year’s or feel pressured to come up with resolutions…don’t be! Just be yourself. Search inside yourself through this simple tool and feel good about heading into the new year with a new frame of mind. It’s a new year full of new possibilities.

Once again, the Franklin Covey Mission Statement Builder Website can be located here. As always, I welcome your feedback!

Starting a Prayer Journal

Over a year ago I was incredibly inspired after watching War Room with Priscilla Shirer and subsequently reading her book Fervent. Both emphasized the importance of a strategic prayer plan or “battle plan” to communicate with God41WC4sg0bfL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_ and fend off the devil. I highly recommend both the movie and book. I had been wanting to come up with an organized prayer life but I had no idea where to start. I knew I needed to journal, but how?

I found the answer to that is incredibly personal. There are so many ways to start a prayer journal, but the key is to craft something that you will want to go to each day to communicate with God. That looks different for everyone, depending on personal style. Following are some ideas to get you started that I have gathered over time from multiple sources (Google, Pinterest, books, personal accounts from others, etc.)

The Journal103_3718
Some people like to use an actual journal, a day planner, or bullet journal. Others like composition books. I personally like a binder with divided sections. Even a spiral notebook will do just fine. Use what you think will work for you! And remember, you can always re-evaluate after you’ve been using it for awhile and change systems if you see fit.

Tabbed Sections103_3710
If you start a binder or notebook, you may want to have sections for other aspects of your faith life. Some examples are sections for Bible Study Notes, Memory Verses, Sermon Notes, Daily Journal, Inspiration, Priorities/Goals, Answered Prayers, Daily Prayers, etc. I think of my binder/prayer journal as my 2nd most important book after my Bible. You can certainly just have a journal for daily prayers without adding any other sections but it is nice to have things like this in one central location, in my opinion.

A page or section for Answered Prayers is incredibly important. This way you can really see how God is working in your life and see that sometimes the answer to prayer comes later than you wanted or in an unexpected way. I think it also encourages you to keep praying! Prayer is powerful!

All you really need is a pen or pencil. Perhaps you have a special pen you want to use. Feel free to make it colorful with different markers or colored pencils or even add little doodles or drawings. Maybe you want to use a highlighter in certain areas. The sky is the limit here! Keep it simple or fancy. God likes it all!

So how is one supposed to pray? Any way you’d like! If you don’t know where to start, try thinking of your prayer as a love letter to God. Speak to him from the heart. You may want to write a short paragraph or make a list of what or who you would like to prayer for each day and what requests you have for God. Be specific!

You can find prayer methods and formats online such as the ACTS method which starts with Adoration (tell God how wonderful he is, worship Him), Confession (admit your sins, ask for forgiveness), Thanksgiving (say ‘thank you’ for all that God has done in your life), and Supplication (make your requests to God for yourself and others). I use this and find it very helpful. You can speak your prayer out loud or say it silently in your head. God will hear it either way! Don’t forget to add the date and time to each prayer!

Special Topics
Having prayers for specific topics or people that you can pray on a regular basis can be helpful too. Do you want to pray for your church and its leaders each week? Do you want a prayer for healing? You can include these in your journal and refer to them on specific days, having a different ‘special’ prayer for each day of the week that you pray in addition to your regular daily prayer. (Example: Monday- Healing, Tuesday- Church, Wednesday- Government, etc.)

Whichever system you come up with, try it out for a week and then re-evaluate. What do you like? What do you want to add or take away? Do you want to change journals?

It has been about a year and a half since I started my prayer journal and I have changed it around a few times. I have been able to track some amazing answers to prayer and record my most personal thoughts to God. My anxiety level is lowered each day I write in my prayer journal and I find it to be one of my most important wellness tools. My relationship with God has grown exponentially since starting a strategic prayer life.

Hopefully you now have some ideas on where to start. Feel free to modify these ideas to your liking. I encourage you to scour the internet for prayer journals if you need visuals to get some more ideas and see what speaks to you. There are even prayer journal page templates out there that can be very helpful!

Remember, this is your special place to talk to God. Make it a special time, too. Tell him what’s on your mind. Ask him questions. Request what you need. Give thanks and praise. God loves it when you do this as it gives him all the glory! He is there for you!

Happy Journaling! God is waiting to hear from you!

From a favorite hymn What a Friend We Have in Jesus by Joseph Scriven, 1855…

What a Friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Jeremiah 29:12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Acts 10:2 He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

James 5:13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.

List Making for Wellness

Before I get into list making, I wanted to highlight my new site name, “Stigma Free Susan” and the new focus of my blog. Here I will explore how to live a stigma free life (rejecting false assumptions others make about you) and raise awareness for invisible illnesses, both physical and mental. I will be writing about my experiences and share some of what I go through so others know there is hope and that they are not alone. For a full description, check out the new About page at the top.

Now, onto lists….

There are a lot of strategies I use to try and stay well and relieve symptoms, physically and emotionally, in my daily life. I try to eat well, get exercise, spend time in nature, grow my relationship with God, budget my income, journal, connect with family and friends, etc. I first learned about having a wellness toolbox in the WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) class I took at my local NAMI chapter. I made a list of all the things I have done or could do to stay well and things I could do when I’m not feeling well, to feel better.

I now consider list making itself as one of my wellness tools. I have always liked making to-do lists but in the last few months I have found that I enjoy making lists for all areas of my life. It helps me stay on track, feel organized, get motivated, remember things, and look to the future. It helps with other items in my wellness toolbox, too. Between the side effects of the medications I’m on and the brain fog from my conditions, I have a really hard time remembering and focusing on things, so lists are a life saver.

To help keep my eating on track, I make a meal plan for the week and grocery list, complete with estimated cost of each item so I can stay within my budget and so I’m not shocked when I’m at the register. I have a growing list of easy, healthy, budget meals for those times when I’m drawing a blank on what to eat. I also have a list of healthy snacks to refer to. These lists help set me up for success during the week and it’s one less thing I need to stress about.

20180530_143344One of my wellness tools is to create art. However, that is very broad. I found myself forgetting about some of the things I could do. I even forgot about supplies that I had. So I ended up making a list of creative activities I can do do that explores the areas I’m interested in and the supplies I currently have. I even put it in a sheet protector. I keep adding to it as I remember what supplies I have or as I get into something new. Referring to this list eliminates the time I spend wondering what I should do. I’m much more likely to pursue a creative activity if I can easily look at my options.

I also make lists for my spiritual life. In my prayer binder I have different sections. In the ‘daily prayers’ section I write what I’m praying for in a list form and then say the prayer out loud. There are many examples of how to structure your prayer and I use a variation of the ACTS method (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication). This helps me stay on track each day and not forget something important. I also have a running list of answered prayers. And I recently added a list of times I have heard the voice of God in some form or another. I really like this area of my life organized and it makes me feel whole.

I have a list of goals and priorities, something everyone should have in their life. It is wide-ranging. And I don’t always attach a time frame to the items. I list things I want to learn about and areas of my life I want to improve or strengthen.

I encourage you to explore list making and see if it helps you in your daily life. I feel it can really help alleviate anxiety and combat symptoms of depression. It gets all that swirling stuff out of your head. I think it makes life more manageable. Go beyond the usual to-do list and apply lists to other areas of your life. There are many list making apps you can download if you think that may help you. I haven’t explored that because I really like writing it down with pen and paper and keeping it in a sheet protector. Use whatever method works for you! There are also many articles online about the psychology of list making, if that is something that interests you.

For more information on WRAP and how to develop a wellness toolbox, check out the WRAP site here.  Some common wellness tools are already listed for you, too. I would love to hear your thoughts on list making. Are you a list maker? Do you think it could help you?


Please Reach Out

This past week has been a tough one for high profile suicides, so I wanted to take a moment and remind people of some resources. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a great resource for anyone who is suicidal or knows someone who is or is a suicide loss survivor. You can call 1-800-273-8255 anytime, 24/7 and someone will talk with you. If you or someone you know is exhibiting any of these warning signs, please reach out and seek help.

The Crisis Text Line can also be reached by texting HOME to 741741 anytime, 24/7 if you prefer to text with someone instead of talking over the phone.

NoStigmas Ally Program is a great resource for non-crisis support and something I am a part of.

Those resources are always available on my Links page.

Having been there, I get it. I know how unbearable pain can be. I know the grips depression can have on you. I didn’t get proper help for years later, but I’m so glad I did. It’s never too late. Opening up and talking to a therapist on a regular basis was key to my recovery and still is. Find someone you can talk to whether it’s a close friend or family member, or someone at a crisis line. Let someone know what you are going through. Reaching out and speaking up is the first step in lifting that weight off of you. Make the choice to live. There are people who care about you. Lots of people. Life is hard and messy but you don’t have to go through it alone. Please reach out. And lets end the stigma that keeps so many people from seeking help.

One final note: family and friends…please reach out to your loved ones. Give them a call. Invite them to lunch. Be there to listen. Let them know you care.


Projects for the Home and Heart

Watercolor bird painting for above the couch.

I hope everyone’s holidays went well and that you have recovered nicely. I’m happy to say I survived, even with the ongoing migraines and on and off flu-like symptoms which is a mystery yet to be solved. I stayed home from a couple gatherings, went to one, but also had some company and one-on-one visits throughout the month of December so that was very nice.

I have been getting into little projects around my apartment. In December I wanted to make over my living room. I made a painting for above my couch, figured out a slip cover for my couch, and got new pillows. I also decoupaged my old, damaged coffee table with old book pages. It took a lot of work and I ran a lot of errands, but I’m very pleased with how it all turned out. I did all of it on a pretty small budget, too. I am in my apartment so much that I want it to be nice and comfortable and have pleasant things on the wall to look at. It’s all good for my mind and mood!

In late December I started thinking about everything my kitchen needs so that was the next project and it is ongoing. I really needed to replace some pots and pans and get new knives. But I also got some new utensils and measuring cups and spoons. I even made a dinnerware change. The new towels complete the look and now I have an aqua/turquoise themed kitchen. I do a lot of cooking so this room is quite important to me. It has also helped me kick off some healthy eating habits in this new year, too.

My next project is in the bedroom where I hope to reorganize some things. I also want to go through packets of photos and put the ones I want to keep in albums and get rid of the rest. I think I can even free up some space in that room.

I have always liked the start of a new year and resolutions. And I’ve always liked organizing. It’s nice to do little upgrades as you have the time and money.  I am careful though to not become attached to “things”. As quick as they come, they can go away in an instant.

This new year, I want to keep up with some projects for my heart, too. I want to continue to “upgrade” my spiritual life as I grow my relationship with God. The prayer binder I put together last year has been very helpful and I want to keep up with it, along with daily Bible reading (I have found using an app or website to track reading is very helpful) and attending church as often as I’m able to. I have quite a few books by Christian authors to read as well. This will help keep everything in perspective for me and will remind me who, not what, to put first in my life. I will keep on going with my little projects and upgrades at home but know and realize that it’s God who is most important in my life and in my heart. “Stuff” may seem really important now but things come and go. I will come and go. But my journey with the Father is forever.

Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Do you have any home projects planned this year? What do you need to get organized? What does your heart need this year…more time with God, volunteerism, or more random acts of kindness toward others? I would love to hear your goals! Happy New Year!

New Pages Added

I have been busy with updates to this blog. I have added a Links page and an Art page in the top menu. I have added links to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, NAMI, NoStigmas, and others. I will keep adding to this list as well.  Suggestions are welcome; please contact me using the form above.

On the Art page I have included two galleries to start with: one of art therapy related paintings and drawings I have created and another of feathered creatures I have drawn and painted. I will add to these galleries and perhaps create more as time goes on and I make more work. I seem to make art in “waves”. The urge comes and goes but I seem to always have art on my mind, whether it be new supplies I want to try out, a new color to experiment with at some point, or a new painting to begin when I’m feeling better. I have recently started working on projects in an art therapy for traumatic stress book and hope to add those creations to a gallery as well. I look forward to seeing what I create this winter as I spend more time inside. I would love to start a “faith journal” and create some interesting, mixed media pages with journaling, prayers, Bible verses, song lyrics, etc. That is next on my list!

I hope you find the new pages useful and enjoyable.